2cowmodel - System Notes

Two Cow Model for Government Definitions

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give the other to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The Government takes both and shares the milk with you and your neighbour.

FACISM: You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and they sell it back to you.

NAZI-ISM: Government shoots you and takes both cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You milk them and pour the lot down the drain to keep the price up.

SADISM: You have two cows. You shoot them both and drown yourself in the milk.

APARTHEID: You have two cows. You give the black cow’s milk to the white cow to drink and don’t milk the white cow.

WELFARE STATE: You have two cows. You milk them and give them the milk to drink. ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows shoot you and milk each other.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. You fill in 17 forms in triplicate and you don’t have time to milk them.

UNITED NATIONS: You have two cows. Russia vetoes the farmer from milking them. Britain and France veto the cows from milking the farmers. USA abstains.

IDEALISM: You have two cows. You marry and your wife milks them.

REALISM: You have two cows. You get married and you still milk them.

COMMONSENSE: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

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Two Cow Model for Government Definitions